I’ve always (not really) depended on the kindness of strangers.

Oh hello there!

It’s a beautiful day here in Toronto, SO hot in fact I think my patio furniture is melting. I guess that’s my own fault for buying an entire patio set for $70 at Walmart.

So, I don’t know if it’s the heat but in the last couple weeks I’ve noticed that people are behaving like children lately. Not those cute kids who sit quietly and play in the sand and you just want to pinch their cute little faces. Those asshole kids who throw sand in your face then say sorry even though they’re really not and continue to terrorize the playground.

Here’s the thing, kids are allowed to be assholes, because they’re still learning. They don’t know any better. But adults, whether they be your friends, family or strangers, should know better. When did strangers become so bold? Perhaps it’s the influx of social media where we’re constantly being bombarded by other people’s lives, but I’m finding more and more people online and in person are telling you what they think-when you didn’t ask for it. Now, I realize that I’m writing a blog right now, and telling you what I think but it’s for you to decided whether or not you’d like to read it. I’m not putting this blog on audio books and shoving headphones in your ears and forcing you to listen to it.

So here’s what happened. My best friend and Comedian Diana Love has some acne. She’s very aware of this, and while she does not love her acne, she deals with it. For some reason, strangers feel the need to point this out to her ALL THE TIME. Some want to be helpful, some are curious and some are just dicks. Whatever their motivation is, I would kindly like to say to them SHUT THE FUCK UP. As if she doesn’t know that she has acne?! Way to bring it up COMPLETE STRANGER. Perhaps the most upsetting incident was when a dude came into her work to fix the printers. He looks at her, makes a  finger motion to his face and asks ‘What’s going on here’. She just started at this cock smoker blankly. He CONTINUED by saying ‘is it allergies? sun?’ to which she replied “It’s the herpes I got from banging you mom” NO. I lied. She did not say that. But that would have been amazing. Why is it this mans business at all? You were hired to do a job. Do it. The job description of printer fixer man does not say ‘and bring up something on the customers face. just to make it awkward for everyone.’ Check out the link below to find out the full story from Diana Love!


I just finished reading Jen Kirkman’s book ‘I can barely take care of myself’.’ In short, it’s a book about her being child free by choice, and how some people just can’t understand that and feel the need to constantly ask her and shame her about it. There’s many instances in the book where complete strangers find out she doesn’t want to have kids and bombard her with questions, call her selfish, tell her she’s going to change her mind. Jen doesn’t want to have a child because that’s her choice. But what if she did want to have a child and was barren? What if she did have some debilitating disease that stopped her from reproducing? What if she had just had a miscarriage? What if she actually didn’t have a vagina and was like some weirdo Barbie? What I’m trying to say is, you have NO idea why people make these choices and frankly it’s none of your business STRANGERS. You don’t know what’s going on with Diana’s face and she doesn’t want you to know. The same way that Jen doesn’t want you to analyze who why where when or what is going to fertilize her eggs or not. These are personal issues. Also, her book is awesome. Read it.

I had my own run in yesterday on Vine. Oh the fun things that happen on Vine! Vine is an app where you can post 6 second videos about anything. I make funny videos, because I am a comedian. I was almost at 800 followers the other day so Matt and I decided to make a Vine celebrating that! In it , I’m wearing a grey tank top and shorts. Matt says ‘you almost have 800 followers on Vine are you excited?’ and then it cuts to me looking sad holding a sparkler and ‘celebrate good times’ is playing in the background.


I looked dumpy in the video, but that was the point! I thought it was funny so I posted it. The next day I get a comment from a complete stranger…”Are…are you pregnant Julia?? You look gorgeous btw!”

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT. I am so ticked off I don’t even know where to begin. First of all, WHO ARE YOU? Second of all NEVER ASK A WOMAN IF SHE’S PREGANT UNLESS YOU ARE 100% SURE.  Obviously she didn’t know if it was appropriate to ask because of her ellipsis. “Are…(oh shit I probably shouldn’t ask this but I’m so curious about this woman I know nothing about) are you pregnant?” AND THEN as if saying “You look gorgeous btw!” makes it any better??? Golly gee Amy Jackson, my fat pregnant ass is just glowing with all this baby growing inside me! Thanks for noticing!


I’m sure this wasn’t a malicious comment but keep this shit to yourself lady. Even when I was a kid I knew this was wrong. In grade 3 during a parent teacher interview, my friends mom went it to talk to our teacher, who was quite robust. The FIRST thing she says to the teacher is ‘When are you expecting’. !!!!!%$*&)(*_))(%#$%^*&$^%#$& !!!! and the teacher says “I’m. Not. Pregnant.”  Where the fuck do you go from there? “Now let’s talk about how your kid is failing math and how I want to punch you right in the vagina”

It never ends well. Luckily, I am a thin person but like so many woman I do have body issues and no matter how beautiful or fit a person is, no one likes to be told they look fat. What if I had gained weight and was feeling self conscious? What if I was formerly anorexic and finally getting back to a healthy weight? This pregnant comment could have been extremely hurtful and potentially dangerous. It bothers me because my boyfriend Matt who is in tons of my Vine videos has a bigger stomach that he flaunts all the time and he’s hilaaaaarious. (he really is. that wasn’t sarcasm) But when I looks dumpy in ONE video I’m all the sudden preggers? Go fuck yourself.

At least now I can make a hilarious pregnant Vine rebuttal, because that’s how I deal with my issues. By passive aggressively Vining and blogging.

Bottom line is, keep some shit to yourself people. Two wise women once said ‘If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight, it’s NONE OF YO BUSINESS’ -Salt-N-Pepa

And they were right. It IS none of yo business.

PS look how cute and unpregnant I look in this bathing suit.




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