Self Dream Diagnosis

I’d be a terrible mother. If I checked up on my hypothetical kids as much as I did my website, they’d be toast. Lucky for me and everyone I don’t have kids! However, I am having some crazy dreams lately. I know what you’re thinking: “shut up no one cares about your stupid dreams.” These are usually my sentiments exactly when someone tries to tell me about their dream. This time it’s different though. As of Monday I started a new eating plan called “Whole30″. It’s basically a restricted paleo diet and no, I’m not allowed to have alcohol. (kill me). I’ll talk about whole30 another day. Today is all about dreaming! Maybe I could dream I was having a glass of wine…

Since making the change, I have been sleeping more soundly and having ridiculous dreams that appear to have some sort of symbolism in them. It could all be a load bull garbage, but I decided to look into it anyway!

My dream a few nights ago was in short about me reconciling with an ex boyfriend. My current boyfriend was there too, and he dropped his egg which cracked and then ants came out of the yolk. WHAT.

Believe it or not, this is not the first time I’ve dreamt of bugs coming out of eggs. I have no idea what this means and even the internet is stumped. Here’s the best analysis I/Internet could come up with

1)I’m eating a lot of eggs on this diet (this is my non-expert analysis)
2)“To see or eat eggs in your dream symbolize fertility, birth and your creative potential. Something new is about to happen.” (definitely not in the baby or birthing mood, BUT new things are happening…)
“To see cracked or broken eggs in your dream represent feelings of vulnerability or a fragile state in your life. Consider the phrase, walking on eggshells. Alternatively, you may be breaking out of your shell and being comfortable with who you are.” (I’d say a little from column A and a little from column B)

The whole ex boyfriend part has endless interpretations. The closest one I could find was this:

“To dream that your ex-boyfriend is giving you advice about your current relationship suggests that your subconscious is telling you not to repeat the same mistakes that you had made with this ex-boyfriend.”

In conclusion, I’m making mistakes in my relationship, I’m vulnerable and I’m breaking out of my shell. Right? I still like to think it’s because I’m eating too many eggs but there doesn’t seem to be any dream “science” to back that up.

Last night I dreamed that I was given 4 pugs. (YAY. ACTUAL DREAM COME TRUE) Then, I FED ALL OF THE SMALLER PUGS TO THE BIGGEST PUG. (seriously, wtf) After realizing what I had done, I regretted it and considered giving the pug the heimlich or making him vomit to get the rest of the pugs back. Then my alarm went off. I’m really hoping this means I will be showered in pugs for the rest of my life, but something tells me that won’t happen. Here’s what I found.

“To see a pug in your dream highlights your playful and strong character. It may also mean that you are open and receptive to new changes.” (YAY. I like this one)

Then there was the creepy part about feeding pugs to other pugs. I didn’t know how to even go about researching this so I broke it down. Here’s what they say about feeding.

“To dream that you are feeding someone indicates that someone in your life is in need of love and acceptance. That someone could be an aspect of yourself.” (OOooo. deep.)

Unfortunately I couldn’t find anything about feeding pugs to other pugs. I bet there’s some weird porn about it somewhere. I did find stuff about killing animals, but in my dream killing the pugs was not my intention. It just made sense for the little pugs to be inside the big pug, like a Matroyshka Doll.

“To see a Matryoshka Doll in your dream refers to the many inner components of your persona. There are many layers to your personality that you need to get through in order to unveil what is truly underneath. Perhaps you feel that no one knows the real you or that no one has taken the time to discover all the different sides of you. Alternatively, the dream may be a metaphor for some revelation.”

Soooo I guess I’m a playful, strong person in need of love and NO ONE KNOWS THE REAL ME.

I’d like to say that I’ve learned something from this, but I don’t think I have. I fear that reading too much into my dreams will just worry me, so I’m going to focus on what I do while I’m conscious. Reading into your dreams can be dangerous because there is just too much information. It’s like googling your symptoms. Every time I google symptoms for what is probably a common cold, google tells me I have cancer.

The best part of is that it can tell you what your dream about Princess Diana meant. So, all you weirdos out there, ENJOY!

“To see Princess Diana in your dream indicates that you need to be more compassionate or giving. Alternatively, the image of Princess Diana may signify a loveless relationship and your search for true love.”

Happy dreaming y’all! Don’t forgot to come check me out next time I’m performing. You can tell me about your stupid dreams;)

One Response to “Self Dream Diagnosis”

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